10 Reasons to Hate Notre Dame + Game Predictions

Since its 2010, expect to see a lot of Top 10 lists this year.  Today, I give you 10 reasons to hate Notre Dame.  Clearly there are more than 10, but in an effort to be consistent, we’ll go with 10. 

1. The Fallacy of “Win one for the Gipper” – Here’s the deal, the “Win one for the Gipper” speech probably never happened.  Kudos to Knute Rockne for using it for inspiration, but Rockne basically admitted it was fabricated.  And while Notre Dame won the game in which he used it as a halftime speech, it took until the 4th quarter for the game to turn around!  Plus, Ronald Reagan used his infatuation with the speech as a sports broadcaster to help get the role of George Gipp to launch his acting career, and the rest, is history.  It’s possible that if Rockne never makes this up, Reagan never becomes President. 
2. Rudy Sucked – Yes, I know, its a good movie, its inspirational and has a great soundtrack.  And I love Charles S. Dutton in that movie as much as the next guy.  But if you want a real story of a walk-on who actually accomplished something in major college football, check out this excerpt from  Bo’s Lasting Lessons regarding middle guard Donnie Warner.  He’s the guy they should have made the movie about.  A 5-9, 170 walk-on working his way from walk-on to starter, as a defensive lineman?  That’s a story!  Want further proof that Rudy is a fraud? Even Joe Montana thinks so.
3. Arrogant Fans – Yes, this is a little bit of a case of the pot calling the kettle black.  But the only fanbase more arrogant than ours is Notre Dame.  From their repeated refusal to join the Big Ten to their insistence on a special BCS rule for them, ND has a superiority complex unmatched in college football.  Add in their belief that God actually roots for them to win, and it makes me sick.  God doesn’t care about the outcome of sporting events, and if he does, then why hasn’t Notre Dame won more than one bowl game in the last 17 years? 
4. Two Words: Lou Holtz – Since my real job requires me to actually know something about who should be on TV and who shouldn’t, I think I have some credibility when I say Lou Holtz has no business being on TV.  He offers no analysis other than to predict that Notre Dame will be good, and all of their opponents will struggle.  I’m convinced he’d pick the Irish to win 10 games if I was the starting QB.   The fact that he picks Notre Dame to win 10 games every year is preposterous enough, but couple that with is complete lack of diction and use of the English language, and its actually laughable that ESPN continues to employ him.  Little known fact about Lou is that he moonlights as the voices of both Sylvester the Cat and Elmer Fudd. 
5. Returning to Glory Since 1993 – Has any school repeatedly claimed relevance with so little basis?  Somehow Notre Dame is still an automatic BCS qualifier whenever they win 10 games, no matter how many times they lose by 3 TD’s in the BCS games.  Notre Dame hasn’t been relevant since 1993.  Their most impressive accomplishment in the last 17 years are a couple of 10 win seasons.  They’ve won 1 bowl game since 1993, and that was against Hawaii.   They aren’t relevant in college football by any standard, and yet the claim every year that this is the year they Return to Glory.  Until they put together 3 consecutive 9 win seasons, let’s just change the motto to Returning to Mediocrity – at this point, it’s a step up. 
6. Regis Philbin – Regis Philbin has been annoying ever since I can remember.  He’s annoying at 9 am when you’re eating breakfast, he was annoying when he kept asking people if that was their final answer, and he’s the most annoying when he’s talking about Notre Dame.  I’m not against celebrities supporting their alma maters, and I can even take a little good natured ribbing.  But if you’re on a nationally syndicated television show, you need to more about the team than Knute Rockne, Ara Parseghian and the Four Horsemen.  I know Regis is 80 years old, but can we please find a reference that was relevant sometime this decade?  I’m sure there’s an intern walking around who can Google some talking points for him. 
7. NBC – Nothing is worse than watching Michigan play ND when the game is in South Bend, because we’re subjected to the biased NBC broadcast that serves as  a complete shill for Notre Dame.  I get it – NBC pays ND a ton of money for the rights to broadcast their games, and its in their best interests for Notre Dame to not only be relevant, but to be revered.  But it’s so blatantly clear that NBC is rooting for Notre Dame, it makes the broadcast unwatchable at times.  And now, they are even doing their part to modify the broadcast to help Notre Dame’s chances of winning.   
8. Rick Mirer, Ron Powlus, Brady Quinn and Jimmy Clausen – For the last 20 years it seems like Notre Dame has always had a QB destined to be the next Joe Montana.  Beano Cook even predicted Ron Powlus would win 3 Heisman trophies.  And while a few of them have had decent seasons, none of them were dominant, and none of them did anything once they left Notre Dame.  Plus, they were all really annoying, whiny, and obnoxious.  Irish Fans, I see your Mirer, Powlus, Quinn and Clausen and raise you with Grbac, Collins, Griese, Brady, and Henne.  And for good measure, I’ll throw John Navarre in there too.  Time to get it straight who is the true Quarterback U!
9. They are Cowards – Want the real reason Notre Dame won’t join the Big Ten?  Because they know that once they exchange the military academies and teams like Syracuse and Duke for OSU, PSU, Nebraska, Iowa and Wisconsin, their chances of winning 10 games drop exponentially.  Its not about the money (they’d make more in the Big Ten).  And its not about the prestige (they are less relevant every year).  It’s about the fact that Notre Dame knows that they’ll be revealed as a fraud as soon as they have to play a real schedule every year instead of cherry picking a couple of difficult games and packing the rest of the schedule with cupcakes.  As Mel Gibson taught us in Braveheart (irony, I know), you can’t cheer for a coward. 
10. Bo Said So – Bo Schembechler left us with many indelible quotes, including “The Team, The Team, The Team” and “Those Who Stay Will Be Champions”.  But perhaps my favorite  is one he gave us just a few years before his death, when Michigan was renegotiating its football contract with Notre Dame.  Bo’s response was “To hell with Notre Dame”.  Couldn’t have said it better.  Everytime we play them we give them credibility.  For my money, I’d love to see MSU, Purdue and Michigan all drop the Irish off the schedule and let them go find someone else to play.   As usual, Bo had it right. 

And since its the Friday before the game, here’s 5 predictions for tomorrow:

1. Michael Floyd, the stud wide receiver for Notre Dame will have a good game, but it won’t be the crippling effort Michigan fans expect.  Put me down for 120 yards and a touchdown for him. 
2. Kyle Rudolph, the stud tight end will have a great game for Notre Dame, and we will all wonder why we continue to neglect to cover him
3. Denard Robinson will come down to earth from last week.  He’s not catching anybody by surprise, we’re on the road, and its supposed to be rainy and muddy.  Expect him to be brilliant on one play and make a mistake the next.  The good will still outweigh the bad though 
4. We will own the line of scrimmage both on offense and defense, which will allow us to control much of the game
5. Turnovers will be the key tomorrow, the team with less will win

Game Prediction

For as long as I can remember, save for 2006, we’ve always gone to South Bend and outplayed Notre Dame, but still managed to come away with a loss.  Usually, its because of turnovers.  Last week we coughed up the ball 3 times but recovered all of them.  We won’t be so lucky this week.  I think we’re better than Notre Dame and I think we outplay them.  But I’ve seen too many games in South Bend where a better Michigan team figures out a way to lose for me to pick us to win.  Its close, but that doesn’t get us a W. 

Notre Dame 30

Michigan 27